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I Think I'm Special

by Eddie Payn3

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1.
you said you said ill love you forever well forever doesnt mean the same to you as it does to me apparently cause we dont talk we dont fuck i aint even seen you in a couple years and i know cause thats the day that i got sober kinda funny but anyway i been countin my days im feelin older now i go to church i still dont mind being cold
2.
Reload66 02:22
sleep in my old bedroom the way the streetlight hits the window a black hand and an air vent always watching me sleep and i still have all those letters that all my girlfriends sent me from summer camp or rehab when i read em i start cryin i think i was born like this a c section at midnight welcome to real life welcome to real life when i wake up i dont feel good it makes me scared and i overeat one time my brothers drowned me i was laughin so hard they werent payin attention i clawed his skin and he let me up but before that i inhaled the chlorine maybe thats why im so fucked up but i think i was born like this strangled by the umbilical chord nowadays i try to live more cause ive been killing myself since i was born
3.
Janis 02:58
all these little things keep gettin in my way look at me when i say that i hate every day Jesus has found me but i cant be saved Mary has come by to dig up the grave and i hate the way you look at me Satan cant get ahold of my sheep ill build up the fence from within my own heart how much faster how much faster can i fall apart all these little things cant fit into my eyes my vision has gone black from tellin so many lies janis went out for a walk in the park when she comes back she wont feel my fuckin heart hell is a place for the dark and the heat and my body is a home so come take a seat
4.
get back together for the third time you said im sorry do you forgive me i miss my dog today its raining rolling around in the mud like a monster im so tired of living in a nightmare and im so fucking sick of doing the same shit i miss my dad i wanna go home but they all hate me i dont deserve this they dont know me im so different but this old body did all that bad shit

about

Recorded on my grandmas cassette recorder bless her heart

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released August 14, 2021

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Eddie Payn3 Lexington, Kentucky

Currently residing in the Great North

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